Thoughts from God's lap

Last night one of my young friends came for a visit.  I was glad to see her, but she was very tired.  She did not want to play and do things.  When she did start doing things she did not make good decisions.  She did things she should not.  I was worried for her because she was soon to get herself in trouble.  Her mother was more lenient than mine.  I was at a loss to help her.  It was stressful.  I believe she was in stress because she needed rest.  After dinner she crawled up on my dad’s lap and fell asleep. 

I thought that at those stressful times I need to crawl onto my Heavenly Father’s lap and rest.  The comfort will help refresh me and lead me to act appropriately. The hard part is making the decision to crawl into my Heavenly Father’s lap before the stress overwhelms me.  I need to operate from my Heavenly Father’s lap, and respond to His gentle touch in the despairing times.  The closer I get to Him the easier it is respond to His admonitions. So Jeffrey, get in His lap and really live.

Jesus the Bridge

How do I refrain from sinning when the sinning comes so naturally?  I want to be righteous, but in moments of deep stress out comes sin in all its ugliness.  I hate it but am powerless to hold it at bay.  I am far from perfect, but I seem to have times when sin just pushes to the fore, embarrassing me and those around me. Autistic meltdown could be argued to be unavoidable, yet it is out of control behavior.  Jesus was not out of control in His behavior, but often out of control off the circumstances. Yet He displayed grace at every turn.  I cannot hide behind the wall of autism to justify sinful behavior.  You see, when I stand before God there is no excuse for sin.  When I stand before God I better not be standing at all, but be flat on the ground before Him.  I must acknowledge His holiness and my unholiness. 

How do I then shrink the gap?  The gap is wide!  No way can I cross it.  How can I accomplish it?  The very key is that I cannot.  Only Jesus can bridge the gap.  I must give up my puny self and fall on Jesus who will provide all I lack.  He is the Wonderful Counselor.  And that is all I need.  I must hide behind Jesus who will guard me from Satan.  To avoid sin get closer to Jesus.  Oh, to be able to remember that!

A Special Gift

Oh what fun to have a sister!  I feel so blessed to have my sister.  I remember the excitement on the day she arrived in our family.  It was definitely love at first sight.  We were not always compatible but we had many fun times in our younger years.  Since she talked and I did not she soon became our spokesman.  I did what I could for her and she helped me more than I could ever say.  She always has had a sense for beauty and she showed me how to see the glory of God in sunsets, snow, fall leaves.  I watched as she grew into womanhood, her beauty a testament to God’s glory.  Her struggles tore at my heart. When she went to kindergarten crying I stayed home and cried with her.  I have prayed her over many hurdles.  When she found the love of her life I was so thrilled to think of having a brother added to our family.  Then she was married, living far away, and I was desolate.  How could I be so sad when she was so happy?  Yet, she is still my sister.  I love her with all my heart.  I pray for her daily.  This week I got to work with her in her yard.  It may surprise you to hear me say it was fun, but it was.  We were now two adults working side by side.  She helped me when I needed it.  She pushed me when I needed a push.  She held me into account when I needed it.  Then she made sure I got the dessert I did not need.  In case you did not know it, I love my sister very much.  She is, and always will be, God’s special gift to me.

Filling The Gap

I am usually with both parents throughout the day, but occasionally I am left with just my mom.  This escalates my responsibility as I must care for her, helping as much as I can.  I am usually the one receiving the care, but when Dad is gone someone needs to come to Mom’s aid.  This is not to imply she is helpless or incompetent.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  But she is a lady, and I must be her protector and assist her in any way I can.  That means carrying out loads of wash to be hung outside.  It means giving encouragement as she puzzles over hard things.  It means doing what I can to make her life more pleasant.  I must be more of a companion.  I have to fill in the gaps.  It is often exhausting because I have to stay alert at all times.  She is easy to care for, but I must curb my autistic tendencies to alleviate some stress.  Why you ask?   Well, because I love her, of course.  

Blessings

I have been thinking about my blessings of late. I am blessed with salvation, friends and family.  I have a most amazing family.  We are five in number, my parents, sister, her husband, and me.  We are not perfect by any means, but we know how to have fun together, and best of all, we know Jesus.  I like to spend time together.  We cannot spend much time as a group of five, but I spend a lot of time in the fellowship of three.  That would be my parents and I.  We do many ministry events as a threesome.  I am glad for those times.  As we share God’s love with others it deepens our love for each other. 

We also must do work projects together.  I have chores to do; and while they are boring, we must do them to survive.  I am not fond of sweeping the floor, but I do not imagine my mom is either. 

We do a lot of reading together.  I love those times as we enjoy good books together.  Some books are inspirational, some informative, some are just fun.  We all like to read, so sharing this joy of reading together is uplifting.

Best of all we do daily devotion review after breakfast each morning.  This gives us windows to peek into each other’s souls and see God’s work there.  It is a time of accountability that cements our souls together.  I am blessed and thankful God plucked me from oblivion and brought me to perch in the His family.  The blessings of God are immeasurable!

He Conquered!

I really like Christmas.  I love the lights, decorations, tree, and presents.  I love the music which can be heard randomly throughout the year at my house. ( Mom is unconventional. ) I rarely get the same thrill from Easter.  Why not?  Easter is the real base of my faith.  Jesus arose!  HE CONQUERED DEATH!  That is awesome.  I feel like I should be breaking out flashing lights, and decorations and buying presents.  This is a time to celebrate big time.  So why is all this missing in my experience?  I do not want to cheapen Easter to commercialism, but I want to celebrate with vigor this time of life conquering death.  How do I do that? 

Thinking about this celebration, I first need to prepare my heart by remembering what the cross means and how much was sacrificed for me in that event.  I think thoughtful introspection during Holy Week would serve me well.  Thinking of the events of that first Holy Week would certainly propel me to Easter in the right frame of mind.  Only after remembering the defeated sense of Good Friday, and the hopelessness of Holy Saturday can I experience the overwhelming celebration of the Risen Jesus.

I would then want to shout it from the roof tops.  I can celebrate Easter by sharing Jesus with a hurting broken world.  For you see, only Jesus can put the broken world back together.  He does it well, completely, and in His time.  Not in mine.  This year I got to spend Easter afternoon at church hosting a few of my disabled friends.  We danced a Gospel hula number that helped us see Jesus.  Our hearts were stirred because Jesus had His fingers in our hearts.  I pray the message of the Risen Jesus will ring in their hearts which have experienced so much pain and hurt in their lifetime. The hopelessness of this world for them can be replaced with the hope found in the Risen Jesus.  Hallelujah!  Jesus conquered death!  He conquered sin!  He conquered disability!

Be A Hero For Jesus

Our church is full of young families; full of young families with young children.  I enjoy watching the children play.  I can see their minds working all out, never, ever stopping.  They want to learn everything now!  Their parents are running around trying to catch up with them; trying to protect them.  The more dangerous things like stairs act as magnets drawing them to try it.  These children watch the adults all the time to learn.  In childish minds there is no thought, “I can’t do it.”  My body is made so I can spin around endlessly without getting dizzy.  It is a part of my unique design.  It baffles these young ones who try and try, only to become dizzy and fall down.  This makes me a kind of hero. 

I am reminded that I am being watched.  What exactly do I want to communicate?  I think it might be more important to model useful things.  Now what could I model?  I could model joyfulness, even in tough circumstances.  I could model kindness.  I could model helpfulness.  I could model obedience.  I could model the love of Jesus.  I can show them a person praising God with abandon.  I cannot talk to them, and I am different, but I can point them to Jesus.  I can accept them as they are, and love them.  Each one unique, but each of us made in the image of God.  Wow!  That should keep me busy for a while!