Christmas Shopping

Today I am feeling so relieved.  I finished my Christmas shopping.  Every year I must try to convey my love for my dear family with material goods that always fall short in relaying the message.  I want to give special, meaningful gifts, but they are never quite special enough.  Oh, my family usually loves my gifts, but I always feel they could have been better.  I look at rows and rows of sweaters, and they are just sweaters.  I look at beautiful jewelry, but it is just jewelry.  My family has to deal with much frustration on my behalf.  I would like to let them know how precious they are to me.  I have determined that this year I will give thoughtful gifts I know they will enjoy, and use.  I will remember this is just a meager symbol of all they mean to me.  In my human estate I have nothing adequate to express that love.  Nothing I could give in a material way can convey infinite meaning.  I must remember to tell them of my love through my words and behavior.  Sometimes I fail in my ability to show them the depth of my love.  I am finite, human, imperfect.  God’s gifts are infinite, divine, perfect.  Since I will never be perfect, I will continue to pray God’s perfect gifts for them.  I will allow God to work through me to communicate His message, even when I fall short.

BRRR, I'm Cold!

Cold weather has burst upon us!  I was enjoying warm days, cool nights.  Well, before I was near ready to face the cold weather, it came.  It actually came while Mom and I were shopping for dinner.  We put on a backpack and walked several blocks to the store.  When we left the store 45 minutes later, it was freezing.  I carried the back pack home gladly as it gave extra warmth.  I was wishing we had driven.  Oh, it was a beautiful walk as we saw the sun sink out of sight, but we were also greeted by a brisk wind.  By the time we reached home, I was ready for hot tea and soup.  Dad had run a hot Japanese bath for me, so after dinner I plunged in and could have stayed a long time.  Now, it is time to sort through the clothes.  Sweaters, where are you?  We have dig out the flannel nightwear.  We have to bundle up.  The bright side is Christmas is coming.  

Steps

We have been real busy this fall.  We go from event to event.  Each event is good and fun, but I have come to see that events take energy and time you would use for the not so fun but necessary routines of life.  We are not able to keep up with laundry and room cleaning, and writing.  It has increased my stress.  I am perplexed!  Which event would I have eliminated? 

If I cannot eliminate enough events, then I must find another answer.  Fussing, whining, complaining, being a brat is not the answer either.  Is there another answer?  I have decided there must be, but what can it be?  It is not a natural response for sure.  Well, then, what is it?

“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3.  As I ponder this I realize I am not able to cope with change.  I am not a flexible person.  Clearly the answer is not in me, but I know where it is.  When I am steadfast in my trust in Jesus, I have perfect peace.  When I am stubbornly focused on me, I have no peace.  I can choose peace or stress.  The circumstances have little to do with it.  I want to choose peace, so I must die to self and the habits and compulsions that keep me from steadfast trust in the Lord. This is easily written here.  Now, I must push back from the written page, back to real life, where the practice of steadfast trust is a slow process of steps forward, and failure, too. Lord, help me take the next step!

Music Extravaganza!

I am a music lover.  I am not skilled in producing music, but I love to be surrounded by music.  I think my favorite genre is jazz, and I am really excited about the music of Nat King Cole.  I am, however, really explosive about live concerts.  I do not get to go often enough to my thinking.  A few weeks ago I went to a Hakase Taro concert in our town with my family.  We live in a smaller town, and just the fact he came to perform here was amazing.  Hakase Taro is a world class violinist and composer.  Maybe even more amazing is that we got to go to the concert. 

Dad got tickets months beforehand.  We looked forward to this a long time.  One always worries with so much anticipation if there will be a let down at the actual event.  This concert began about the time I wind down for the night.  Maybe I would sleep through it all.  That would be a waste.  This was a senseless worry.  Mr. Taro is a master showman.  He surrounded himself with other first class musicians in a band that played with him.  Each of them probably could have performed a magnificent concert on their own.  This concert had humor, class, dance, lights, as well as wonderful music. As the concert closed, the audience was on its feet dancing along.  Music and lights were exploding about the auditorium.  The band did a fantastic dance.  Then some picked up their instruments and danced while playing them.  This was especially spectacular as the cellist played and danced with his cello.  We did not want it to end.  They played two encores.  I wished it had been more.  The final song was a gentle song written by Hakase Taro for those affected by the disaster.  I especially liked his verbal reminder that there is still much to be done in restoring that area to health.  His song, “A Smile for You” touched my heart.  

I got home far past bedtime, but sleep was elusive as the strains of music and sights of that concert played in my mind.  What a fantastic extravaganza I had beheld.  It still evokes a vivid memory. 

Hey, Dad, when is the next concert? 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCnGx-GuJM4

(Take listen!)

Dance With All My Might

I am glad God gave us many forms of worship.  For me singing just does not express my praise.  I certainly understand the words, and would love to sing them, but my body does not get the job done.  I have to work so hard to get the right word at the right time on the right note.  By that time the group has long since moved to another verse, or even stopped singing altogether. That leaves me frustrated, and sometimes embarrassed.  It is not adequate to express my praise. 

Then there is dancing.  I do not dance beautifully, or even gracefully.  However, I dance wholeheartedly unto the Lord.  I use my whole body to express my praise.  What I feel in my heart bursts forth in body movement.  During the music at a worship service, I need space to participate.  I may look strange, but I am expressing my heart to the Lord.  Really it is between God and me.  If you want to watch you may, but I am just praising God the best way I know how.  I am letting my body give expression to what is bursting out of my heart.

 I participate in a Gospel Choir.  I occasionally get a word out, but mostly I dance and give forth some shouts along the way.  I let my body unite with the words of the song to lift up the name of Jesus.  David danced with all his might.  I want to do that.  Sometimes we do not have adequate means to exalt the Lord.  Words are not enough.  Even dance is not enough.  Yet while we live in the finite we must do the best we can with our limited resources.  Just wait, though!  The day is coming when we will get new bodies.  Those new bodies will be capable of incredible praise.  That is worth dancing about!

Riding for Jesus

As many of you know, I love to ride horses.  I am best at having them run.  Friday it was cool and crisp, but sunny.  A perfect day for riding!  My instructor was a new fellow, but I like him.  He was waiting for me when I arrived like he could not wait to start.  He is a combination of strict and gentle.  He let me run that horse a lot.  He said most people never get the rhythm of running a horse, but my body just knew what to do.  How many times has that been said about me?  “Never” would be a word that comes to mind.  I struggle with balance and coordination and spacial awareness.  These do not add up to a body that naturally knows what to do on a running horse.  However, that instructor was not just being polite.  He was looking at me with admiration and with awe.  He had me run the horse more than usual.  I think it was because he delighted to see me ride.  It felt good.  I was really happy. 

As I have thought about this I realize that the God who made me and made this horse instilled that rhythm in us.  He prepared us for this.  I have gained the admiration and respect of this trainer.  God set it all up even before I was born.  Now I must be faithful to God’s call.  I must be steadfast in the work of not only delighting this young man with my riding skills, but also showing him the path to delight in Jesus.  How will I do this?  I will be obedient to God.  I will consciously strive to reflect the love of Jesus at every lesson.  I will be a Christ follower who is submitted to my task.  Most important I will be a channel for God to offer His miracle of redemption to this man.  That is even more exhilarating than running on a horse!

Eagle's Wings

Exciting times to be helping three teams minister in disaster relief during the summer months!  My role previously was always to stay home with Mom.  We were the invisible team members who prayed from afar.  Now we have become visible as Mom and I go with the teams and participate in additional ways.  Sometimes our job is to eat strawberries.  Sometimes it is to carry bags of dirt and other things to grow the strawberries.  Sometimes it is weeding or digging or just smiling and encouraging.  Often these jobs are not jobs in my set of skills, not in my gifting, not in my fun category.  Yet, I have learned that when the time comes to do the work, God lifts me above my skills, gifts, and likes.  He enables me. I so often learn much more by leaving the comfortable and doing that which I was sure I could not.  I am not always successful at these new endeavors, but I learn and am stretched by them.  Some of these new tasks will never again come my way.  Some will repeatedly knock at my door.  I could either complain and carry on about doing them, or I could pull up my socks and do them.  In the end God has put me to the test.  Will I obey His call to strike out into new adventures for Him?  Will I resist and try to stay comfortable?  I have found that once I have tasted these wild adventures, comfortable can get boring.  I am an introvert who likes being at home.  However, God keeps calling me to come out of my comfort into His adventure.  He calls autistic Jeffrey to soar on eagle wings to places where often there is no comfort.  Then I learn that in those places at that time the only comfort is in obedience to God’s call.  Then I find I must obey with all I have to the glory of God.  I, then, find safety, joy, and excitement on those eagle wings.

Eternity - Home

This summer I lost a friend at church.  She was an older lady who was in a wheelchair from the time I met her.  She had been afflicted by a stroke which imprisoned her in that wheelchair.  Through her disability she met a member from our church.  Consequently, that prison of a wheelchair wheeled her to the cross, and to her Redeemer.  She was cheerful and faithful in encountering me.  We became friends.  Before she met Jesus she was an artist, using bits of paper to create beauty.  As a result of her stroke she could no longer make the pictures, but she created beauty by combining her pictures from the past with Scripture.  Her artwork became complete as she now knew Jesus, the ultimate Artist.

I am sad to see her place empty at church.  It is a selfish sad, however.  At her funeral I wept, but then God reminded me to see the whole picture.  She has shed the wheelchair, and is kneeling in awe before her Redeemer.  How joyous!  She stepped out of a body broken by cancer and a stroke to ultimate healing. How marvelous!  She passed from a dim, dingy world into brilliant, vibrant beauty.  How amazing!  My weeping turned to joy as I imagined her ecstasy in the presence of Jesus. I could not help rejoicing at that funeral.  She was in joyous, marvelous, amazing eternity. She is face to face with Jesus.  She is home!