I must confess I am a person who detests change. I think much of this is influenced by my autism, but I suspect some of it is just my nature – who I am. I do like the changing seasons, but I also find discomfort in this as I must adjust my dress and sleep habits to suit. It heightens my stress. Changing furniture arrangements in the house makes me uncomfortable. Changing daily routines makes me irritable. Understanding this, you can only imagine my feelings at this time of change in my life. My beautiful, exquisite, “tiny”, baby sister has grown up. She has been led by Jesus to step into a ministry of helping a very small church for the next year. These are exciting things. I am happy for her! I am proud of her! I am devastated. You see this wonderful event in her life means she had to move out of our house and lives about an hour away. Now when I go to bed, the room across the hall is dark and quiet, and stays dark and quiet all night. My dear soul mate is not here. I know in my head this is a good step for Abi. It is the next step in her growth. She needs this. But alas, my heart hurts at her vacant place in our home. I prayed for her to come to our family when we were little. I did not pray she would move away.
As I have thought about this I have come to see that not only is this the next step God has designed for Abi, but it is the next step God has designed for me. Rather than rebelling against this maybe I would do better to trust my Creator. He knew this day in my life would come. He also knows my weakness. However, I can say today, “Praise the Lord.” Why? I can say that because I can trust in the mighty strength of God who allows me to leap a wall. Yes, even the wall of change. And, in the bargain Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. So bring on the change; I am armed and ready.
